Kevin Pietersen has launched into the English cricket team after a calamitous opening day at Lord’s in the second Ashes test.
After winning the toss and sending Australia into bat, Ben Stokes’ side were shocking, bowling poor lines whilst dropping significant chances.
In bowler-friendly conditions, the Australian batsman were elite, seeing off the new ball before inflicting some pain on the so-called ‘Bazball’ side.
Albeit not normally a fast-bowling attack, the English paceman were uncharacteristically slow, which was a surprise for many given they already find themselves behind the eight ball, having lost the first test at Edgbaston.
Australia finished the first day of play at 5/339, with Steve Smith finishing the day not out on 85 alongside Alex Carey on 11.
Enters Pietersen, labelling England’s performance as “absolutely shambolic” before going on to question the way they prepared prior to the day's play.
“It’s been shambolic. Absolutely shambolic,” Pietersen said.
“You have overhead conditions, you have a wicket that suits your bowlers and you’ve got bowlers running in at 78, 79, 80 mile an hour.
“Now it’s one thing walking in, swanning around saying ‘this is a wonderful team to play in, we’re creating the best environment’.
“But this is not Ashes cricket. I’ve played Ashes cricket. I’ve played 30 matches against Australia.
“The Australians here were outside to bat before the English bowlers. The English bowlers this morning should have been on those stairs saying ‘we want to bowl at Australia, we’re desperate to bowl at Australia’. These two Australian batters (David Warner and Usman Khawaja) are out there waiting for England.”
The mood around the England camp has been bizarre from afar, despite losing the first test, all you were hearing from the Poms was positivity about how good ‘Bazball’ is for Test cricket.
‘KP’ says the current mood coming from the English changerooms isn’t something that would’ve been tolerated in previous Ashes series.
Speaking during the tea break, Pietersen couldn’t hold back his anger.
“It’s all too easy and it’s all too nice. Are you telling me Ricky Ponting in 2005 is going to be talking to Geraint Jones? You think Michael Vaughan is going to be standing next to Justin Langer and saying ‘awesome mate, what a cool day’?,” he added.
“Are you joking? Are you absolutely joking? I just hope they’re in that dressing room now and the England coach (Brendon McCullum) is giving them the biggest hammering and saying ‘it’s not good enough, it’s absolutely not good enough!’.”
The lack of pace on offer from England’s all-pace attack was a regular talking point during the play.
And it was after Ollie Robinson’s spell during the second session that sparked a reaction from Pietersen.
“It’s just not good enough, it really isn’t,” Pietersen said during the second session.
“These guys are expected to bowl Australia out today and it’s just getting sloppy. Not enough balls in the right area. And the speeds haven’t been up.
“(Ollie) Robinson, in his first couple of spells, was bowling at 78 miles an hour and David Warner was sweeping him. It all just looks a little bit too easy here for Australia.
“The speeds have got to improve.
“You can’t bowl at 80 miles an hour. At 80 miles an hour, when the ball deviates you can recover, and you can manage the deviation.
“When Josh Tongue was bowling earlier at 85, 86, 87 miles an hour it is a completely different game. The English have to bowl with more power and nip and bowl in better areas.
“(Jimmy) Anderson has averaged 81 this morning and Broad has averaged 81. Robinson 79. Stokes 79. Josh Tongue has been up at 86. Those are the bowlers. Those are the averages. That tells a story in itself.”