"Forget a five-day Test, this may not go three.": Star bowlers inflict damage on woeful batters

Australia and India have more similarities than either team would care to concede.

Both teams have a fading number four. Virat Kohli’s recent record is worse than Steve Smith’s, but neither is anywhere near the player they were pre-Covid.

Both teams have question marks around their number three. India's is unproven, Australia's was proven but is rapidly losing his grasp on the key slot.

Both teams have a fast bowling captain. Both teams have a keeper who bats left-handed. And both teams must find ways to paper over brittle batting cracks this summer.

And it was these vulnerabilities on day one in Perth which were laid bare.

Was it the pitch? Maybe. It was sporting and probably a touch underdone given inclement weather in recent days.

Was it the bowling? Yes, in Jasprit Bumrah India possesses a rare quick bowling weapon. Remember, he boasts the third best bowling average in Test history (minimum 150 wickets).

Australia’s quartet is much-famed and hyped for good reason. Josh Hazlewood was the pick on Friday, but Mitchell Starc was economical and Pat Cummins dismissed the two batters who were looking most dangerous.

Part of what made day one so engrossing was how exposed the batting appeared. With weakness comes entertainment. Wickets bring highlights. And there were 17 of them to fawn over for the neutral. Forget a five-day Test, this may not go three.

India, almost inexplicably after getting bundled out for 150, won the day handsomely.

Australia’s tag team slip cordon catch was the best of them, but Bumrah’s spell was arguably the finest we’ve seen since Dayle Steyn ran amok in Perth all those years ago.

If you go through India’s batting one by one, it’s patchy at best and substandard at worst.

Australia are in the same conversation.

Yashasvi Jaiswal looks promising on paper, but he’s never played in Australia and will take time to find his feet. His waft to Nathan McSweeney at gully demonstrated that.

His opening partner, KL Rahul, is quite the journeyman. No Indian batter who has played 50 Tests has a lower average (33). He can bat middle order, he can open, he can play a role - but he averages barely 20 against Australia. Surely he’s not the answer.

At three, Devdutt Padikkal made 65 on Test debut in March. Nice, ey? Yes - but he entered at 2-275. It was a different sport batting today than it would have been against England in Dharamsala.

It must have been a painful 39 minutes for Padikkal, who eventually perished for a 23-ball duck.

Kohli at four is a shell of his former self. For the first time in seven years he has now made five sub-20 scores in a row. He was jumping and marching at bowlers with great intent, but minimal control.

India can’t win if Kohli, who resembles Ricky Ponting towards the end with the proud forward press but faltering execution, continues to fail.

Kohli supporters - of which there are roughly 1.4 billion - will argue champions are champions for a reason. That’s well and good, but even the very best slide towards the end, including Sachin Tendulkar.

His drop catch after tea was somewhere between a soda and a dolly. It had a touch of Herchelle Gibbs about it, only that it further added to the narrative that 35-year-old is on his final lap.

For the Aussies, Usman Khawaja also dropped a simple chance, though it didn’t cost the hosts. He’s almost 38, and while he might see through this summer, he’d need to buck the trend to make it to the Ashes.

Nathan McSweeney’s task was to outlast Bumrah and the odds were against him from the outset. The next ball, Smith was wrapped on the pad. It was his third golden duck from 196 Test innings, but his second in his last four.

Unfortunately for Smith, he was never aesthetically pleasing. We could endure that when he was Bradman 2.0, but now he’s a mere mortal, it’s hard to ignore how awkward he looks at the crease.

Travis Head at five is a throw at the stumps on days like this. He’s a strong chance to fail, but occasionally his slashes will come off. He was comprehensively bowled. Mitch Marsh is similarly vulnerable if the ball is too new when he enters. This was the precise reason the top four needed to blunt the new ball in order to protect this duo.

Rearguard actions are fun, but can't be orchestrated every single time.

And then there is Marnus Labuschagne, who this time four years ago had a Test batting average exceeding 61. It’s dropped below 50 now.

Only the Queenslander knows whether his mind or body is tangled, or perhaps a dollop of both. At 30, he should be at his peak. But weirdly he looks in the same trough as Kohli and Smith, only marginally better at surviving longer. In the end, two runs from 52 balls paints a worse picture than making a golden duck.

“It’s because of his mindset,” Simon Katich said on SEN Cricket late in the day.

“His first instinct at the moment is to leave it… At some point you have to look to rotate strike and get some momentum in your innings.”

Labuschagne's strike-rate on Friday was the lowest of any Aussie batter in history to have faced more than 50 balls.

He's one of many problems the Aussies have. As is Kohli for India. In fact - both teams have a litany of issues. The winner will be the country which solves them first.

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