Retired ruckman can’t see himself ever enjoying AFL Grand Final day after 2022 scars

Retired ruckman Tom Hickey doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to enjoy an AFL Grand Final again.

The 33-year-old who played for four AFL clubs across 151 games had the best individual season of his career in 2022 for a Sydney side that made it all the way to Grand Final day.

While the Swans were a quality side that season, everything came unstuck in the decider as they went down to Geelong by a whopping 81 points.

Hickey, like many of his teammates, didn’t have an ideal day, with Tom Hawkins pushing him out of the way in ruck contests for the first two goals of the game.

Looking back on that fateful day now, Hickey is thankful he was able to make it to the last Saturday of September in his career but can’t say he now has many good feelings towards the biggest day on the footy calendar.

“The day itself was just horrific, I felt really good before it … but then Tom Hawkins pushed me out of the way twice, which didn’t help,” Hickey told This is Your Journey - thanks to Tobin Brothers.

“But I can probably sleep knowing I gave it absolute 100 per cent effort all day. I worked all day, but it was just a dog of a day.

“I really struggled the next month or so once we were back at the bottom of the mountain and we had to start again, I knew I was towards the end. I was like, ‘Jeez, am I ready to climb it again?’.

“It probably wasn’t until the next Grand Final, the Collingwood v Brisbane one where I’d already retired and I realised I probably had some kind of PTSD from it.

“Then last year again, I don’t know if I’ll ever enjoy a Grand Final or enjoy watching one.

“But still, I’m so grateful I was able to be a part of it… not many get there.”

After the 2022 Grand Final, Hickey would play another 12 games in 2023 before retiring.

Listen to his full chat with Sam Edmund below.